From a Van Down by the River

After Kenmore and I found our way back to Rainbow Camp, we had a very enjoyable second week. Our new campers were just as fabulous as they were the previous week, even in temperatures that never seemed to stop climbing. In fact, it was so hot at camp that we ended classes fifteen minutes early to go take a dip in the pool. I may have been a little too lenient this week and gone to dinner in my bathing suit, and I may or may not have been thrown in the pool for it after dinner. Nevertheless, the campers were all troopers and made took the unbearable heat in stride.

We left camp on Friday night, waving goodbye to all of our second-week friends and wondering what surprises lay in store for us at Vermont Rainbow’s Grand Assembly. Kenmore was intrigued, knowing that Marisa S’s theme was “A Journey of Courage and Hope with Vermont Rainbow,” and impressed because he remembered that she had decorated her own jacket with the liquid embroidery puffy paint that we use at camp (Kenmore is not very skilled in LE, probably because it is hard for him to hold the paint between his tiny paws). Her theme was also based on the “Chronicles of Narnia” movies that Kenmore and I both love.  

Fortunately, Vermont did not disappoint. Upon our arrival, we were met with a signpost that looked like it came straight out of Narnia and which pointed our way to the assembly room. The assembly room was decorated even more fancifully; the sidelines were partitioned by snowflake-covered chain, the Grand Officers marched through mystical arches, and the Grand East stood atop impressive castle walls! Additionally, all of the Grand Officers’ mascots (which were lions) were lined up in front of the stage, giving the feeling that they were protecting Marisa as she presided over her Grand Assembly.

As much fun as the Saturday morning session was, however, I think that the real fun began when someone made the mistake of giving Massachusetts some free time in Vermont.

First, a little background information. You could say that I am a bit of a fanatic when it comes to crafts. I love knitting, crocheting, embroidery, sewing, etc. You name it, I’ve probably tried it. Except for macramé. I don’t dare attempt the art of macramé. Anyway, my love of crafts must be genetic, because my Mom and Nana also can’t get enough of it. This leads the three of us to spend an inordinate amount of time in stores such as Micheals, JoAnn Fabrics, and A.C. Moore. Those of you who are passionate crafters may notice that there is one crafting supply giant left off of that list. Do you know which one it is? You do? Then let’s say it together!

That’s right, it’s HOBBY LOBBY.

I am ashamed to admit it but before I went to Vermont, I had never been to Hobby Lobby before. So you can imagine my excitement when we drove by one not far from our hotel. From that moment, I made it my mission to get to Hobby Lobby and experience the wonder that is this crafting haven.

My Mom, sharing my enthusiasm for craft-related shopping, pointed out that we would probably be able to walk to the Hobby Lobby from the hotel parking lot. Thinking it wasn’t too far, we all agreed to try it. Twenty-four minutes later, after having cut through some less-than-desirable shortcuts, we arrived at the glorious Hobby Lobby. We probably spent another thirty minutes or so wandering around and finally settled on a yard of anchor fabric. Then we made the long and arduous trek back to the hotel for the Saturday evening session, which is where the fun really began.

Every State has a Grand Assembly tradition that makes it special. In Vermont, it is their fantastic raffle baskets and their Saturday evening talent show. Let me just say that the Rainbow girls in Vermont really know how to host a great talent show. There was singing, comedy acts, and even an appearance by two pint-sized toddlers to make the evening complete. After the girls from Vermont had their time in the spotlight, the show was turned over to the out-of-state guests. Some girls got together and wrote a Broadway mash-up that incorporated the themes in different States. My friend Rebecca S. stood up and sang a beautiful song called “Amaranthine” that I had never heard before. I signed my interpretation of the song “Party in the USA” in American Sign Language. The act that I think deserves the most recognition, however, was performed by our friends in Maine.

If you are not familiar with Chris Foley’s famous “Motivational Speaker” sketch from Saturday Night Live, I highly recommend that you watch it, because it’s hilarious and this story will make a lot more sense if you’ve seen it. Anyway, the visitors from Maine got up and performed—to the last detail—that sketch. The basis of their performance was that some girls in an assembly weren’t behaving very well. Advisors had found black unmentionables and *gasp* knee-high stockings in the changing room. Needless to say, something needed to be done about the girls’ attitudes. The only solution that could be found was to bring in Martha Foley, motivational speaker. Martha’s tough love and repeated mentioning that she lived “in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER” was enough to scare the wayward girls straight and they vowed never again to wear knee-high stockings to Rainbow meetings.

Their performance was brilliant and funny enough on its own. What made it even better, however, was my friend Rebecca S’s question to me afterwards. We had taken up residence in an RV for the weekend, in order to keep traveling costs down. As a result, we weren’t actually staying in the hotel. So when Rebecca S. turned to ask where I was living for weekend, I couldn’t help but answer that I was living…

…in a van down by the river.    

What is spraying out my nose as a result of my laughter? Honey I Dew iced tea from David's Tea!

Here is definitive proof of our trek to Hobby Lobby: